Shine on you crazy diamond!

Why I moved to California is a question I get often, but I never go into great details about my life. The short version, that everyone gets, is I was going to community college when my mom was offered a job in California (She was laid off two months later, thank Uncle Johnny!). I had two choices, stay in St. Louis continue going to community college and maybe find a four year college that will take me, or Cali. I like to think I would've moved to Chicago, or New York where a hunk of my family is, or even Orlando to work at Disneyworld for whatever childhood reason. But I took a chance and went to a state I had only been to for a few days a dozen years before.
What I never talk about is how miserable I was in St. Louis. High School was...well high school, really I don't have to go into it because we've all been there, and I can only imagine we all have the same stories. Anyway, most everyone I knew had moved on to different parts of the mid-west to go to college. California was a breathe of fresh air, and I took it all in.
I have never regreted moving out here. I have become a new man, and have had many, many, many adventures. I have met some wonderful people who I consider life long friends. I have gotten to do and see things I have only read about. It's been a wonderful 16 year ride.
To bring this back to the overall subject. Next year I will be graduating from college with a B.A. in Education, on top of that I am taking a depth of study in English as a second language, which means that I will be able to get jobs outside of the U.S. I think nothing would be more fun then to live abroad. My friends in California have all moved on now. Many are married or getting married, some have had children, and a lot went back to school or just moved out of California to chase all new dreams.
For the last two years I have been thinking about where I want to live. Bay Area, back to LA, San Diego, or somewhere completely different. But when I ask these questions I realize I am wondering if I should stay in California or not. I can never go back to Missouri because my old friends are gone. I think that "effect" has started with California, yes we have myspace and stuff to keep intouch with them, but you can already see they are moving on with their lives, why shouldn't I?
A friend recently just hit the same wall. I think of their frustration and relate to it. They are very smart, and wiser then I, and they will make their own choice.
I think it's time for me to move on. I knew the writing was on the wall when I went home last summer and hear the stories, the same stories I head when I went back to St. Louis two years after moving away (quite spooky!). This last time when I went back to LA a month ago I already felt like a stranger visiting. Not that my friends treated me like a stranger, but again, they have moved on with their lives and have other things on their mind.
My parental unit tends to think since I am in my 30's I shouldn't think about "traveling abroad" that I am too old for that, and maybe find a girl and settle down. How..."traditional". If there was a girl that would settle down with me, which there isn't, then we wouldn't be settled for long. I am not a tradtionalist. And any girl that I meet will want to travel with me to where ever Pacific Island I go to! Bah(!), I say! Just because we get older doesn't mean we need to follow rules. Hell, I'm back in college, where does that qualify as tradition!
We all need to do what is right for us. I have loved my life in California. My 20's and early 30's have been the best! Yes, we have to let go of the past, but that doesn't mean we have to forget what made us the wonderful people we are today. This is the year I will wake up, pour out the old coffee, make sure the fire is out, and pick up the tent so I may pitch it somewhere else.




And we'll bask in the shadow Of yesterday's triumph Sail on the steel breeze Come on you boy child, you winner and loser Come on you miner For truth and delusion and shine!
~R. Waters